“Society should be more accepting.” Anybody who loves someone with a disability has said this when the person they love is overlooked or excluded. But how can society become more accepting?
Some people put their hope in laws. Laws can help, but they are insufficient. It is possible to mandate laws to remove physical barriers, to mandate how content should be presented in media, or to mandate reserved seats for education and employment. While laws can provide opportunities for people with disabilities to be more present in a society, laws alone cannot change society’s attitudes.
Some people put their hope in education, which can help raise awareness about disabilities. However helpful education might be, it is only as good as the person who teaches. Attitudes are “caught, not taught”. Information alone is not sufficient.
Laws and education and awareness campaigns can help society become more accepting, but while we wait for the transformation that we hope will come someday, what can be done about the person with disabilities who is being excluded and ignored today. There is something that can be done. Instead of lamenting that society needs to be more accepting, we can take action. We can help our loved one be more accepted by society through the power of roles.
[[a brief anecdote here of how someone took on a role and how that helped other people see him/her differently and led to more acceptance]]
Some of the roles we have are relationship roles we are born into. If we are members of family, we accept one another. We can foster that acceptance by helping our loved one who has a disability to fulfill that familial role. What is expected of a big sister in the family? Helping a big sister fulfill these expectations will help others see her as a big sister, and it is more likely that she will be accepted. What is expected of an uncle? Helping him fulfill the expectations of an uncle towards his nieces and nephews will help them see him as an uncle.
Other relationship roles are those of being a good neighbor or being a member of a faith community. We can think through what activities a good neighbor participates in, where a good neighbor spends time, and what actions a good neighbor does. Then we can help our loved one to carry out that role. Others may not understand much about our loved one’s disability, but they do understand what it means to be a neighbor. They are more likely to be accepting when they see what they have in common with the person with a disability, as well as what contribution the person with the disability makes to the community. [[this can use some concrete India-specific examples]]
Roles give an opportunity to build bridges with others in society. Being a member of a sports team is a role, as is being a classmate or a cricket fan. What do people with these roles look like? Do they wear certain clothes? Do they spend time in particular places? We can help our loved one “look the part” so that others will recognize the role and accept them. We can also help them learn to do things that the role requires. The role of chef requires some cooking skills. The role of host requires some hospitality skills. The role of an artist can be fostered by opportunities to paint with other artists.
Roles can lead to deeper acceptance. Perhaps there will not be instant acceptance by all members of society, but there is likely to be more acceptance by people in their immediate community. Roles highlight commonalities and give people an opportunity to see themselves in those who have disabilities. The more valued the roles are by others, the more acceptance there can be.
For more information, see Social Role Valorization, by Wolf Wolfensberger
